its all over... for now at least

phew, what an adventure. Having spent all of saturday saying to myself "i'm never doing this again. No really Cherry, never do this again, don't do it to yourself!" I have spent the time since saying "that was great, let's do it again".

It was nerve-racking and incredibly hard work, but we pulled it off and "the old hotel" went without a hitch (more or less) - although that's not to say i would do exactly the same again - so many interesting problems and ideas raised... where to start...?

First, the performers. They did their jobs perfectly. It was really interesting to see the difference in the two pairs (Rich and Jonny (A&B) and Ming and Mel (B&C)), as they had rehearsed separately and gone about it in two completely different ways. Rich and Jonny had worked very quickly, getting through the entire text once or twice in every rehearsal. They came off the book later in the week, but had gone much deeper into the thoughts behind the words and how they might use/subvert these. Because of this they were able to be very flexible with audience intervention and general presence/noise. Mel and Ming, on the other hand, worked through each scene much more slowly and thoroughly and focussed on accuracy rather than flexibility. The result on their side was a quieter more crafted approach to the scenes, which seemed to draw the audiences just as effectively as Rich and Jonny's energetic approach. I hope I will be able to work with Mel and Jonny for the next stage of this project too, so we can keep building on what we have rather than starting from scratch again (Rich and Ming will be working on their own performances in July).

The audience. Something you can never quite predict. How interesting to see how people's reactions changed over the course of the night. At first people listened intently, but by the 4th installment (there were 15 'scenes' spread across 90mins with 3-4 minute gaps between each), they started to realise that their full attention was neither necessary nor expected and began to drift off into groups, just catching bits here and there. Some parts went completely unnoticed - just a conversation amongst the crowd, others had people shushing and straining to hear. One thing that was common to every part was that as soon as a 'performance' was recognised, the audience drew back to a 'respectful' distance - and then complained that they couldn't hear!!! One brave audience member asked me if she could ask the performers questions, I said 'of course' and she walked straight into the middle of a conversation between rich and jonny. What was really wonderful about this was that not only were the performers able to answer some of her questions, but then other audience members asked her what information she had gleaned from them - so a lovely organic process of gossip/rumour was begun.

The space. Well just look at the pics on the website, absolutely amazing. with the layout of the old rooms still marked on the floors and the crumbly bricks...mmmmm... It was really exciting at the beginning of the evening when some students turned up outside the site; I asked if they were there for the exhibition and they told me they used to live in the old hotel! So I invited them up and they looked around the space, tracing out the positions of their old rooms etc. It was exactly what the piece was all about. The performers watched them closely! Sadly they couldn't be convinced to stay for the performance.

The text. I was really pleased with how the performers brought the text to life and made their own stories out of it. I hope the text will be the vehicle for developing the stories further in my collaborative work for 070707 Upstage festival (see news and events on my website). This time, however, I want to expand the text to include imagery as well as words, and perhaps use my website as a 'script' so it can be constantly in flux rather than a static object.

Enough for now. More retrospective thoughts when I come back from my camping trip and am all relaxed!

oh, it's such a hard life

rehearsals for 'the old hotel' (my performance piece for the sitelines exhibition) began last friday with a picnic on the south bank and a session of gossip in waterloo station. Mel and Ming are working as a pair - so i saw them for a long session on friday - and Rich and Jonny met with me on sunday. i am really excited about the way its all going. the dynamic in each of the pairs is completely different, it's really interesting what can happen with one text. was also fun to see how people on the south bank (see pic of jonny and rich below with woman watching in background) and in waterloo station, reacted to what we were doing. Mel and Ming rehearsed with me on site last night and i will be doing the same with rich and jonny tonight. Its exhausting, but the beautiful weather helps to keep everyone's spirits up.

i love my actors, they are all wonderful. I am, of course, terrified about saturday night, but at least i know that they will put everything they can into it, i just hope i can support the hard work they are doing - it's tough when you are not an actor yourself.

in the meantime, i've put more stuff on the website, and will do so again on thursday or friday. and here are some pics from our first rehearsals:

i wish someone would write me letters like this!

“You seem the same as always, and being you, hate every minute of it. Don’t! Learn to say ‘Fuck You!’ to the world once in a while. You have every right to. Just stop thinking, worrying, looking over your shoulder, wondering, doubting, fearing, hurting, hoping for some easy way out, struggling, gasping, confusing, itching, scratching, mumbling, bumbling, grumbling, humbling, stumbling, rumbling, rambling, gambling, tumbling, scumbling, scrambling, hitching, hatching, bitching, moaning, groaning, honing, boning, horse-shitting, hair-splitting, nit-picking, piss-trickling, nose-sticking, ass-gouging, eyeball-poking, finger-pointing, alleyway-sneaking, long waiting, small stepping, evil-eying, back-scratching, searching, perching, besmirching, grinding grinding grinding away at yourself. Stop it and just DO.

From your description, and from what I know of your previous work and your ability, the work you are doing sounds very good. ‘Drawings—clear, clear-cut but crazy like machines, larger, bolder, real nonsense.’ That sounds wonderful—real nonsense. Do more. More nonsensical more crazy more machines, more breasts, penises, cunts, whatever—make them abound with nonsense. Try and tickle something inside you, your ‘weird humor.’ You belong in the most secret part of you. Don’t worry about cool, make your own uncool. Make your own, your own world. If you fear, make it work for you—draw and paint your fear and anxiety. And stop worrying about big, deep things such as ‘to decide on a purpose and way of life, a consistent approach to even some impossible end or even as imagined end.’ You must practice being stupid, dumb, unthinking, empty. Then you will be able to DO! I have much confidence in you and even though you are tormenting yourself, the work you do is very good. Try to do some BAD work. The worst you can think of and see what happens but mainly relax and let everything go to hell. You are not responsible for the world—you are only responsible for your work, so do it. And don’t think that your work has to conform to any idea or flavor. It can be anything you want it to be. But if life would be easier for you if you stopped working then stop. Don’t punish yourself. However, I think that it is so deeply engrained in you that it would be easier to DO.”

—letter from Sol Lewitt to Eva Hesse, c. 1964/1965 when she was living in Kettwig, Germany, with her marriage failing and creative spirit debilitated

at last

the website is up: www.cherrytruluck.co.uk/sitelines.html
still a few technical glitches to iron out and lots of info to add, but it's there, there are a few things to look at and after the easter weekend there will be a few more!

I have finished writing the text for my performance piece and now just have 10 days or so whilst the actors learn their lines. rehearsals begin the week before the exhibition. Was really worried as writing it has been a really stressful experience and i was too scared to show it to anyone before i gave it to the actors, but have had a really encouraging e-mail from Ming, which has cheered me up no end and got me all excited about it again.

Now am beginning to look at my research paper again. Am going to post my last draft on my website and would appreciate any comments etc. Have been looking recently at ways that people create web-based performances outside of the framework of 'art' or 'theatre' - such as www.justin.tv, as well as ways in which the internet is used in conjunction with other technologies to create a more interactive/physical experience of cyber-performance - e.g. http://www.diggriver.com - a community news site which texts stories to your mobile and flash mob actions - http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2228162337. All suggestions welcome.

Finally have been building these crazy little models for a bit of pocket money (last paid job before i become a full-time scrounger). They are so cute, had to post a picture: